Setting Boundaries That Stick

I received this email the other day ang thought it might be beneficial to you:

It was 9:47 PM on a Friday night.

I was sitting at a brewery with friends I hadn’t seen in weeks, and my phone buzzed. A client. Texting me about a certificate of insurance they needed “first thing Monday morning.”

This client texted me constantly. Nights. Weekends. Holidays. Always urgent. Never actually urgent.

I excused myself from the table, walked outside, and spent 20 minutes logging into the portal, downloading the cert, and emailing it to them.

By the time I got back inside, the conversation had moved on without me. My friends barely looked up. They were used to it.

This was my normal. I was “responsive.” I was “always available.” I prided myself on it.

I was also exhausted. Resentful. Burned out. And slowly realizing that my clients didn’t respect me more for being available 24/7. They just expected it.

And the worst part? I’d trained them to expect it.

Every time I answered a non-emergency text at 9 PM, I taught them that my boundaries didn’t exist. Every time I said “no problem!” to last-minute requests that were absolutely a problem, I taught them that my time had no value.

I thought I was being a good agent. Really, I was being a pushover.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re self-respect.

And when you don’t set them, you’re not just hurting yourself. You’re teaching people that you don’t believe you’re worth respecting.