I hope this letter finds you in high spirits and surrounded by snacks, because let’s face it, you deserve it! I am writing to formally request an exemption from the recently imposed tariff on all things ridiculous.
As you may be aware, our company specializes in the production of novelty items, including whoopee cushions, rubber chickens, and inflatable unicorns. These products are vital for maintaining a balanced sense of humor in the economy, and we believe that imposing tariffs on them would be akin to taxing laughter.
Imagine the consequences: fewer birthday parties, less joy in the workplace, and a dramatic rise in the frown-to-smile ratio across the nation. We simply cannot allow this to happen!
In light of the above, we propose the following:
- No Tariff on Gags: Laughter is essential—let’s keep it tax-free!
- Bulk Discounts on Chuckles: For every ten whoopee cushions purchased, we propose a complimentary rubber chicken—because who doesn’t love a good deal?
- A Tax-Free Day of Laughter: We suggest designating a national day where all novelty items are exempt from tariffs, promoting joy and silliness nationwide!
We believe that these measures will not only benefit our business but also enhance the collective happiness of our fine nation. After all, a smile is worth a thousand words—and we can’t afford to be taxed on that!
Thank you for your attention to this important matter. We look forward to your favorable reply, ideally accompanied by a side of laughter.
Yours humorously,
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